Bumper Stickers and the People Who Inhale the Adhesive
I was feeling good about next year's election until reminded of who else will be voting.
I need to stop buying my husband these stubborn German dogs. Our geriatric Weimeraner is the most ornery dog in the county. He lifted a half-eaten landjaeger right out of my three-year-old's chops this morning, indifferent to the fact that we were sitting right there.
"Hobbes", named after my husband's favorite comic strip character was a wedding gift to him from me. The husband never had a man-pooch and I thought it was time. The dog's been with us from the beginning, residing in three single-family, two apartments, and one town home. He gets severe separation anxiety when my husband is away and protests on the carpet, necessitating the commercial grade carpet shampoo machine taking up precious closet space.
If they weren't so pretty, I'd have absolutely no problem choosing another breed. It's just that Weimeraners have "Paul Newman" eyes, and despite the fact that Newman (R.I.P.) was a flaming liberal, he was a very generous philanthropist and always had lovely things to say about his wife. In one interview when asked why he never strayed, he simply replied, "Why have a cheeseburger when I've got steak at home?" Classic, and a perfectly reasonable reason to acquire yet another of Newman's canine equivalent.
So the beautiful puppy I purchased for my husband's birthday is a fabric eater. He's eaten (1) Restoration Hardware Belgian Linen coverlet that I waited two years to go on sale to buy and (1) Pottery Barn coverlet that was a Christmas gift from my mom. In addition to fabric, the puppy abhors shoes. No matter where we hide the shoes, he seeks out and destroys them. He's quite the little shoe hunter.
This morning I went out for another pair of flip flops for our eight-year-old. The flip flops I bought her last week were short lived...dismembered by the naughty puppy.
When I returned to my car in the Walmart parking lot I noticed that the Chevy Blazer next to me had bumper stickers all over it, some voiding out others. In making multiple sticker statements, the driver managed to make none at all. That is, unless the intended audience has dissociative identity disorder.
"Tree Hugging Dirt Lover" was one bumper sticker (on a gas guzzling V8, I might add). That was next to a "Black Lives Matter." I respect that, but next were two Zombie killer bumper stickers, one of which looked like this:
So the person driving this car is an unabashed Tree Hugger which is perfectly respectable if you are a beacon for peace for all creatures. However, this "Zombie" sticker entertains the use of higher caliber guns. Does the driver equally favor guns for other purposes like protection of self and private property, shooting for sport, or perhaps taking out a homegrown terrorist at a movie theatre?
This is an odd yet familiar paradox. I have many liberal friends who joke about coming to my house in case of a "Zombie Apocalypse." Ironically, these same Obama-loving buddies think that I'm a lunatic when stressing the importance of upholding of the Second Amendment. "Why do you think that with all of our resources, the U.S. mainland has never once been invaded? Because a large segment of our population is armed..." then I near always add..."and by the way, don't show up at my house empty-handed if your 'Zombies' ever do come calling..."
The truth is much of liberalism is based on dependence not independence. Liberal friends plan to rely on the utility of others or the government rather than making themselves more self-sufficient and prepared. When capable people look to others for responsibilities they should tackle themselves, that is dependence. And when one is dependent, one is not truly free. To paraphrase Franklin, "He who trades freedoms for security deserves neither."
There are plenty of confused people out there driving bumper-bipolar. People who fail to grasp basic issues or at least understand that some things simply cannot coexist. The most disturbing thing is that these big mouthed folks are probably the first to the polls and vote as irrationally as they decorate their vehicles.
First of all, I think we can all agree that if you voted for Obama, you are absolutely not concerned with the unborn, unless your concern is to keep the unborn, unborn. Second of all, to my knowledge, Democrats and Libertarians have very little in common politically. But placing opposing view party stickers on the same car is typical of the willfully uninformed American voter.
I don't even know what to say about this woman's car in Ithaca. At first, I thought she was a liberal feminist since she's obviously a devout man-hater. However, it seems that she also hates pretty much everybody else too. But wait! She also fears the government. Wouldn't that make her lean right? Nope, not if she's just looking for Easy Street.
It's hard to get excited about next year knowing that there are so many voters that don't know and don't care to know what's at stake here. People all around me, poised to vote with no regard for fact or consequence. Idealism based on a fictitious utopia that can only exist inside one's head.
Recently I was explaining basic conservationism vs. environmentalism to friend who is both a teacher and mother. After hearing the major differences, she said that she'd choose animals over humans to be in control of the world...because animals are so "kind." Apparently, she doesn't have coyotes raiding chicken coops on her street like I do. Perhaps our puppy killed two fledgling doves last summer because he too is also very kind...about as kind as a polar bear eating a seal...or a grizzly eating a tasty, crunchy camper and his girlfriend.
I'm trying to stay positive about the election next year but it's difficult to do when one has to leave the house. I'd thought I'd be safe from liberals at Walmart, but I suppose even liberals sell out in order to score a bargain.
Posted June 12 2015 by Audie Cockings
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Audie Cockings is the author of Little Red Rider, a fiction thriller available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com. She holds a Master's in Adulthood and Aging/Health Care Administration and has been published previously in healthcare.