NOTE: My Gentile Encryption Machine (GEM) has been on the fritz lately, with most of the errors occurring, I think, in Display Mode. I believe I've gotten it to work. As usual, all Chosen Eyes Only (CEO) material will be separated by double lines (===), with the remainder for public view. Please send a GEM Technician As Soon As Possible (ASAP).

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I watched my little boy put on his feety pajamas before bed last night. His process is personal to him: he lays them out on the rug in his bedroom, sits down on them, slides his feet into the trouser part, gets his arms into the top part (with some difficulty), and zips them up. He is most careful to keep his nascent wedding tackle from getting caught in the zipper.

He's five years old.

During this process I asked myself, When do I tell him? When will he be ready for what's in store?

A week ago we got a Disney Little Golden Book Omnibus hardback from Costco, and we typically read one story from it per night before lights out. Stories from Paw Patrol, Bubble Guppies, Blaze and the Monster Machines. By the end of last night's story, however, I couldn't wait any longer. I just had to tell him the truth all Jewish children must learn.

"Sonny boy," I said, as his big eyes blinked up at me, glassy with fatigue after a long day of kindergarten, "There's something you need to know. You're Jewish, son. And before long you'll go to Hebrew school. There you'll learn about the acquisition of funds through theft; how to manipulate the inner workings of the news and entertainment industries; and how to destroy this disgusting, Christian culture of American capitalism, turning it into a socialist, egalitarian paradise where you, my son, will be in control...but behind the scenes. You'll shift foreign policy to always put Israel's interests before America's, and you'll teach college students how horrible America has always been. It's part of our culture, son. It's in our blood. My father taught this to me, and his to him, and so on. You were born to skulk in the shadows of history, always manipulating, always undermining. So sleep well. Your mommy and I love you."

I hope it wasn't too soon. Please let me know at the next Jew Conclave.

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Mel Gibson's new movie is titled Hacksaw Ridge. Gibson's a genius filmmaker, full stop. I loved Bravehart, Apocalypto, The Passion of the Christ. But I'm not going to see Hacksaw Ridge or anything else he does because he's an anti-Semite. Even though Allison Hope Weiner, a Jewish woman, wrote in 2014 that Mel Gibson deserves a second chance.

Maybe I would give him that second chance in another time, but I've grown pretty tired of Jew-haters. On the left there's the Obama administration and the vast majority of academia with the BDS scumbags and the loathsome Students for Justice in Palestine. On the alt-right you've got Trump-worshipers who have nothing better to do all day than make up terms like "oven dodgers" for Jews on social media. They're small in number but incredibly loud. I've hit my limit with anti-Semites in daily life. I'm just not that interested in parsing Mel Gibson's redemption: how much outreach he's done with the Jewish community since his drunken tirade, all the money he's given to Jewish charities, and whatever. Good for him and his nice Jewish friend Allison Hope Weiner for all the nice things he's done. For my part, once I conceive the desire to punch your teeth out of your head, it's a feeling that doesn't go away.

I'm not saying everyone should shun Gibson, or that ostracizing him's the right thing to do, or you're morally compromised for going to see Hacksaw Ridge. Do what you what. The way I see it, there are thousands of movie choices out there, so why should I enrich someone who says that me, my kid, my brothers, and my brothers' kids are responsible for all the wars in the world?

Forget it. It's not worth it.

And it's not because Gibson hurt my fee-fees or that I give a damn about anything he says or does outside of filmmaking. I just think it's foolish to support people who hate me, not to mention a serious breach of taste. I've done it before, but I'm not doing it again. Playing footsie with anti-Semites is a stupid game.

Also, isn't it telling that Gibson cast a Jewish actor to play Desmond Doss, someone who refused to pick up a gun and fight in the service of his country? Yes, I know he was courageous and carried all those soldiers to safety, but there's still something not-quite kosher about the casting choice (heh).

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See you at the Jew Conclave. Isn't it fun to pretend to have car payments and mortgages and household budgets when you're secretly, fabulously rich? It chafes sometimes, but we Jews have got to keep up appearances. Now more than ever. Those campus leftists and alt-right guys, clever scamps that they are, are onto us. They'll be our downfall if we're not more careful.

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(Cross-posted from my terrific blog.)