High Eggspectations
The incredible (inedible) egg.

I've mentioned Gwyneth Paltrowisms on many occasion. In 2017, I was hoping not to but she just keeps offering up too-good opportunities.

I can't help that her smug demeanor, snooty elitist politicking, and bizarre behavior makes me laugh. And yet, she somehow maintains a most devout fan base despite her brain/mouth dysfunction.

She's penned several cookbooks, backed work out videos, and even managed to crash her own blog after publicly posting her divorce plans. Gwyneth hosted private parties for Obama, gushed over Hillary (until Hillary snubbed her), and claims to be a liberal democrat, so I'll just assume that she's a a bit out of touch with regular folks.

In 2014, she prompted a twitter spanking from from Cindy McCain after comparing the media to "being at war". Paltrow seemed to think that dodging mean comments online was akin to dodging bullets...

Then of course, are her very strict nutritional guidelines...It's a good thing she's not a commoner!


Like many Americans, I'm feeling a swell of liberation. Tomorrow the duct tape will finally be ripped off the mouth of reason. Americans can get back to being thinking people, no longer camouflaging fact or opinion from the thought police. And to celebrate, I'll just say what I'm thinking...


Gwyneth Paltrow is certifiably nuts.


Because Paltrow's latest nugget of wisdom on GOOP, her own well-branded blog, offers rather alarming advice on achieving optimal "female energy"...with a rock.

Her site claims that with regular wear, tired mama muscles can morph into a trampoline-like state with the mystical help of a $66 Jade vaginal egg. That's right. Gwyneth recommends aping broody poultry to make a woman feel and look sexy.

Being a chick is not enough. Gwyneth wants you to reach your full-fledged chicken potential. She even suggests you sleep with your egg in. Maybe that's why her marriage didn't work out...

I won't post the diagram here on Liberty Island Mag because it's graphic but this may be the weirdest, most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my forty-two years. At least a Canadian OB/GYN had the nerve (and clinical expertise) to set her straight...


Gwyneth Paltrow is so typical Hollywood...plenty to say about nothing she actually knows about.

Posted January 18 2017 by Audie Cockings
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Audie Cockings is the author of Little Red Rider, a fiction thriller available at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com. She holds a Master's in Adulthood and Aging/Health Care Administration and has been published previously in healthcare.